Hot Sauce Committee Part Three: Green Sauce

Bottom line up front: Is this even hot sauce?

There are a lot of things going on this this sauce without even opening the bottle. Exactly what is “Green” hot sauce other than green? Lots of chilies? Green peppers? The name alone is confusing. Look at the bottle. It’s got Japanese branding all over. Cherry blossoms. Mount Fuji. A rising sun. That imagery pulls me in a completely different direction that is better served by soy or tamari. Even the Bulldog sauce would be more welcome.

When I opened this bottle I got that smell that is standard of all these sauces, vinegar. My expectations are tempered already.

I put it on my already bland food and did not really notice it at first. So I put more on. Pretty soon the bottle was empty. I used the entire bottle without noticing the flavor of the sauce. It was that bland and unflavored. Sure, there was a tiny amount of heat, but what normally stretches over a week was gone in one sitting.

A bland, nothing sauce is almost as bad as a sauce that does nothing like this one. One that provides mixed messages and ultimately delivers on neither.

Hot Sauce Committee Part Three: British Red

Bottom line up front: It’s ok. Albeit bland and adding nothing to the experience.

What does British food taste like? Without looking at the bottle, I would have guessed fried fish or sausages? Nothing readily comes to mind, unless we’re talking Indian cuisine. I mean, the elephants are a dead giveaway.

When I opened the bottle I got a decidedly non-British or Indian smell. Prunes. Can’t explain it. A strong whiff of prunes. As I ate it, I got the feeling I’d been here before. The flavor was oddly reminiscent of the Fiji one prior. I would not be surprised if all these sauces start from the same base with additions that are considered “worldly”.

The bad thing about this sauce is the flavor, or lack-thereof. It was just bland. It was mild heat and mild flavor. I’ll give it points for not detracting from the overall taste of the dish, but it came to the party with nothing.

Hot Sauce Committee Part Three: Fiji Mango Habanero

Bottom line up front: Don’t come here looking for strong mangoes.

I’m always wary about putting fruit into things that are supposed to be savory and vice versa. Bacon or spicy jam? No thank you. Jello with meat? Sorry, I’ll pass. Aspic, look it up. You won’t be pleased. The Fiji Mango Habanero had a big mountain to climb with my preconceived notions on sweet and savory. Not a bad thing in and of itself, sweet and savory trail mix? Delicious. Salted caramel? A ten.

I put it on some pretty bland food which I’m want to do so I can get the full flavor. A little mango hits you right away, but it’s very faint. Almost as if the makers put some habanero hot sauce in a cup and set it on a counter. Then they grabbed a fan and put it in front of some mangoes next to the sauce and waited for a while. That’s how faint the mango flavor tastes. The star of the show is habanero and it’s not necessarily my thing. There’s a point where spice outperforms the flavor. I’m not sure where the line is, but this sauce crosses it. Too spicy and not enough mango flavor.

Hot Sauce Committee Part Three: The Beginning

This past Christmas, my parents gifted me a package with thirty different hot sauces. Hot sauces from “around the world” it says. I have no doubt that many of these sauces are simply the same sauce with a spice that is indiciative of the region thrown in. Hot sauce plus…. creole spice? Louisiana hot sauce! Hot sauce plus… maple spice? Canadian hot sauce!

I’m always a fan of food gifts, consumables in general really. However, as I grow older I’ve noticed a proclivity for heartburn at the drop of a hat from foods that I was unaware had any spice whatsoever. That being said, I am grateful for the gift and plan to take this opportunity to try as well as discuss my thoughts on all thirty sauces. I’ve got the Pepto handy. Let’s go!

Fruit Adventure: Pomelo

One of my things this year is to try more fruit. I have always been of the opinion that there is not a lot of fruit and the same ones are always around: apples, grapes, strawberries, bananas… I have never been a huge fan of citrus, but discovered earlier this year about the wonders of the mandarin orange. Sweet and juicy, I can eat four or five in one sitting. However, I digress. The first fruit of the year is the Pomelo. These are kind of intimidating because they are not small. This is a hefty fruit and ran me around $6 for one. Not something I would regularly purchase due to its relatively high cost.

I cut into this fruit and was taken aback with the sheer amount of inedible rind. Rind makes up almost 50% of this fruit! It is similar in color to a grapefruit, which the sticker on the outside eluded to. As I hacked away at the inedible rind, I cut a perfectly edible piece. Granted, the edible piece had lost more than half of its original size due to careful trimming. I watched a video to provide guidance in prep, but the variety was different. The video showed one that looked like a big yellow mandarin orange. The chef prepped it by peeling away the rind, which left most of the fruit intact. Much unlike my own.

The texture is just like any citrus you would expect. Very juicy when bit and kind of chewy. The flavor is exquisite. It is much sweeter than an orange and tastes as if it was genetically spliced with a grapefruit. I do not think I have every gone to a juicer and found pomelo juice. I would definitely eat it again. I would try to get someone else to prepare it however.

Review: Panera Bread Mac & Cheese

For a good long while, Panera mac has been my go-to whenever I challenge someone’s perception of “What is a good mac and cheese?” On further examination, it’s merely OK.

The picture does not lie, the Panera mac is rather creamy and of a good consistency. The pasta is cooked to near perfection. However, like many pastas, it does not travel well. Eat it outside of the “Dine In” window at your own peril.

I am normally stoked to get some Panera mac (mixing it with Potbelly chili is the perfect flavor combo notwithstanding the extreme gastrointestinal stress one would experience over the following 4-5 hours). This time as I dug in, I noticed a distinct lack of flavor. Maybe it was a bad batch or some one was training on how to make it because they believe it is difficult to screw up. The cheese just did not come through as it had in the past.

I will go back and get it again because I feel that one batch was a fluke, but my patience for bland mac is not unlimited.

Review: Newk's Eatery

The Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich is currently gripping the nation. The quality is very high and as an alternative to Chic-Fil-A, it’s only a plus. My aunt and I went to the local Popeye’s to taste test and it was packed. Unreasonably so. After 10 minutes of waiting in line, the cashier informs us the much sought after sandwich is sold out. The 10-15 cars in the drive-thru were also out of luck but wouldn’t find out till much later when they’re stuck in the funnel. I had no Plan B. Regroup! Enter Newk’s Eatery.

This is my second time here in the last few months or so. It not often disappointing, even though I’ve only gotten a few different items during my time at Newk’s. The Five Cheese Mac & Cheese is terrible. The first time I visited, I ordered a nice big salad which was chock full of greens, meat, and other vegetables. My aunt got the kid’s pizza. This is rather tiny but smelled great. I vowed to get it the next time I went.

Little Newk’s Pepperoni Pizza - While my hand was forced due to only having 700 or so calories left in my day, it was a pleasant situation. This pizza is rather small, but mighty tasty. The flavor is what a pepperoni pizza should taste like. Newk’s has all kinds of other pizza toppings. You needn’t waste time choosing. Now I can only imagine what the big one is like.

Review: Miss Shirley’s

I had been to Miss Shirley’s a few years ago and remembered it being really good. I got something that was market price and really enjoyed it. This visit could not have been more the opposite. The service was kind of slow despite the lack of customers in the dining room and the food was a big meh.

The first thing I noticed was the difficulty in finding a meal or food item that wasn’t super high calories or a breakfast item that was not loaded with sugar. The specials were strawberry kiwi pancakes (I think, I can’t really remember because I was shocked at how much sugar was in these items) and french toast stuffed with key lime cream cheese. I couldn’t find any nutritional information on their menu or website, so calorie counters beware.

BBQ Chicken Fried Deviled Eggs - Everyone at the table was intrigued with the fried deviled eggs, however, no one could eat them for a good five minutes before the server gave us small plates. She thought “they were all for me.” When it came to eating them, I found the egg to overpower the BBQ and the chicken. One goes for deviled eggs for the egg, so I guess I couldn’t expect too much variation from that flavor or formula.

Southern Slammer Sandwich - According to the menu, this sandwich is the “Best Breakfast Sandwich in America, Restaurant Hospitality Magazine.” I have no idea of the competition that year, but the best word to describe this sandwich is “OK.” Pumpernickel has very strong flavor and often overpowers the rest of the ingredients. The other ingredients range from a fried egg to fried green tomatoes. My dinner calories just shrunk to almost nothing after I finished. The fried green tomato was rather watery, but that could be how they are normally. I’ll reserve judgement until I’ve had them solo. I’m not a fan of unwieldy sandwiches and this one was hard to ensure all ingredients remained inside while eating. I would not order this again.

Watermelon Feta Salad - My introduction to the wonders of watermelon continue with this dish. I ordered it as a side instead of grits to cut calories and introduce a little color and vegetable into my meal. After not liking watermelon for the better part of 99% of my life, I’m finally coming around. So far I have yet to eat just straight watermelon. It’s always been served with cheese. I think that’s the way to go. Something savory along with the fruit. This salad had watermelon, feta, cucumber, and onion. Delicious. The best thing I ate during that meal.